If you would have asked me this question a few years ago, I would have probably said “yes, of course my friend. There is someone out there for everyone.” But honestly today, I’m not sure of anything, I’ve looked for a million reasons to find why some people constantly seem single while some others are always with a partner. From the outside, it seems so easy for some people to be with someone who truly love them for who they are, it’s like breathing, natural. For the rest of us, it feels like climbing the highest mountain ever.

Your family, some of your friends, strangers, society in generally will probably tell you that it’s because you are too peaky, or too shy, or too boring, because you don’t hang out in bars every night, you aren’t smiling enough, you’re too independent, or God, you’re too smart !? Yeah that must be that last one for sure!

Truth is, there is no real reason. It’s not about beauty, money or career. It has nothing to do with your educational background, the way you dress or the town you live in. It’s not about who we are, it’s about what we are meant to accomplish.

I believe everything happens for a reason. So maybe we need to find love within ourselves first before being loved by someone else. Maybe we need to find our true path before walking in someone else’s. Maybe we need to know what we really want to get out of life before committing to anything with someone.

“If you are looking for the love of your life, stop. They will be waiting for you when you start doing the things you love.” Holstee Manisfesto

Think about it for a minute. Would you be here doing what you’re doing without all those deceptions you’ve encountered over the years? Personally, I wouldn’t be. Those deceptions and tears made me stronger and bolder, brave enough to realize my wildest dreams and secret wishes. They lit up this burning fire inside me, they pushed me to overcome my fears and to always go further. Thanks to them, I’ve discovered the British culture, saw the Australian bush, built my own shoe brand, meet some incredible persons, opened my mind to a new world, quit my comfort zone and live the unexpected.

Life is about following your heart and your true calling.

From the outside, it seems so easy for some people to be with someone who truly love them for who they are… but how is it from the inside?

I have gone through school and college pretty sure of what I intended to do. I planned to have a degree on Business Management, majored in Finance, work for a big company a couple of years, get a Master abroad (most likely USA) and then somewhere along the way, build my own business. I did get my degree on Business Management. In all else I ensued a different path.

Throughout college, I discovered Marketing and how I found passionate the challenge on getting into the consumer mind, what made her tick, what moved her and how to influence her. It was stronger than my liking towards finance and so my analytical preference started to allow my emotional side to grow. I still feel very comfortable with the logical and analytic side of my work and I even think it works as a plus for me. But it was no longer my preference. So, Marketing it was. It is 13 years now since I started working in Marketing and I have been lucky to have had the opportunity to deal with both big international and national brands, as well as with some in a growing stage.

In these last 13 years, my personal life as also changed a lot. I ended up knowing my very own ‘The One’, getting married and we have now 2 wonderful children aged 8 and 2. If I have reasons to feel lucky professionally speaking, personally speaking I won the jackpot. Of course, in none of the areas all is 100% fine all the time, nonetheless that is the general feeling.

But in fact the dream of having my own project never left my mind. So why wasn’t I putting it in practice? I guess, fear of failing had a lot to do with it. In Business School we learn to over analyze. To measure all the risks involved and suddenly every idea has a problem. Too much investment needed, too little niche market, area in which I possess too little knowledge, market segment overcrowded with competition… And as life went on, other self excuses aroused. Like, jumping into a new business means losing a current needed and safe ‘wage’ or I have a family to take care of, can’t have the luxury of risking all and take the little time I have with them away.

A few years ago I started reading some business books and blogs, especially Seth Godin’s work that helped me to identify that most of that reasons were but excuses to prevent me from risking. I started to be more open not only to new business ideas but to where could I make a difference in the world. And it was so that my first idea that I attempted to implement came up.

I’m from Portugal. A wonderful little country in the west end of Europe bathed by the Atlantic Ocean. In the past few years it has been having more attention from the foreign press as it is one of the countries undergoing a big debt crisis. A bit over 2 years ago, I had the idea of developing a brand that FMCG or other products could use as a stamp stating they cared on the country’ situation and that for each unit bought, a percentage would convert into helping Portugal to pay part of its debt. Even if it was a small part what I liked most in my idea was that it intended to change attitudes from expecting others to solve our problems to act. To allow consumers, through their daily choices, to have an opportunity to act on such national problem. The thing is as I was implementing this on the side of my daily work and with the goal of zero investment it took me almost a year to find out how I could legally make it work. In that time, Portugal has asked for the IMF/EU/EC troika for financial aid and since then both individuals and companies have been called out (to put it mildly) to pay the debt, through huge austerity measures. There was no longer space for motivating people to do it on their own will.

At that time I was following sites like revolution.is that share stories of people that just change all their lives. And typically you see stories on people that had such a financial support to allow them to take the risk or early/mid twenties with little responsibilities in life yet. As much as inspiring their stories are, most people can’t relate to it. Hell, I couldn’t! On the other hand, I was seeing a lot of people doing what I have tried. To implement or already dealing with an on the side project while keeping their daily job.

It was also when I understood that in that first attempt of mine I loved the fact that my part could be helping change people’s attitude towards a more impactful and thus fulfilling life.

And so these facts lead me to this day. To the fact that alongside my job I have, not my business, but my own project. It is called On the Side Project (www.onthesideproject.tumblr.com) and it aims to incentive readers to not let their responsibilities hold them back on their dream projects, through the stories of those who are achieving in their own projects while keeping their jobs/career.

As I say, don’t let your responsibilities be an excuse; make your change in the world be part of your responsibilities.

Connect with Anibal on Twitter @ajoliveira or trough his Facebook. 

How would you define yourself? A dreamer!

When is your birthday?  23rd of September

Where do you currently live? Inside my head (but practically speaking, Cairo, Egypt).

What makes Cairo such a special place for you?

It’s the place where family and warmth is, friends and school and memories and all of that. But unlike everyone, I think of my country as my child not my parent. I’m disappointed coz it’s in such a bad condition. I’m mad at it for not being better, I try to take care of it so it develops and grows and improves, and whenever I feel the urge to leave or abandon it because it’s unbearable, I get a deep sense of guilt for even thinking so (sometimes I just ignore the guilt though)

What do you do for a living?

I currently work at a photo house with a friend, a small business that has so much potential to be the best in Egypt.

Tell us a bit more about you…we want to know everything about your background, passions + dreams!

I’ve played sports all my life, never been super duper at any of them, but maybe coz I was playing the wrong types of sports and realized it a little too late. I’ve always cherished music, all kinds. My greatest regret is not having played any instrument at a young age. I LOVE dancing and taught myself different kinds of dance through merely watching! I’ve always been good at writing essays and stuff but never actually got down to writing my thoughts and getting them out to the public except two years ago. I kept writing mini articles and thoughts until I took a creative writing and short story course and it was the best thing I ever did. I dream of being a famous writer…not just any writer, but one that touches people’s hearts with real or fictional stories.. God knows, maybe I’ll even change their lives

What is the biggest struggle you encountered to be here where you are today?

Trying to make someone else proud of me, not being sure of what I wanted, and cultural constraints.

How did you overcome it?

By getting tougher with every passing day. crying my eyes out when I need to, blowing steam when I need to and playing it cool when I need to. And most importantly learning when to do each

About not knowing what I want, curiosity solved that for me. I read a lot, watch movies with a different eye, learning from the values of different cultures in them, taking part of every extra-curricular activity my time allows, and talking to anyone who is within talking distance from  me

What are the values you strive for in life?

(I can never answer this question though I’ve been asked it several times. but here’s a try):

Do everything with integrity and honesty. I try to balance “achievement” with “being loved, appreciated and respected“. One should not sacrifice one for the sake of the other, or else I’ll end up losing both.

What is your favorite quote?

Not one in particular.

What are your hopes and wishes for the future?

Being a best selling author (which will mean touching people’s hearts with my writing), and getting a prize for something I wrote (which will then mean that it’s actually really good as a piece of art)

Anything else you would like to tell us about you?

I dream of travelling every single day. I love people but appreciate my time alone. I’m a hopeless romantic… Well, that took me more than a week to write down…so much for being a writer lol.

 As for this month, I’m honored to share with you the incredible story of Steph. I’m sure her story will resonate with you at some point and if so, she will be waiting for you to connect with her through twitter @stephlisakelly

At the heart of my story is the desire to evolve, the knowledge that I came here to play a role, and the struggle to find out what that role is. Every step forward in my life has been in pursuit of this elusive answer; every step I didn’t take was when fear’s voice spoke too loudly and I spent a moment being stuck. Usually it did not take long for the impulse to evolve to well up again and drown out the fear.

In this way I have lived most of my life; riding the waves up, losing my footing, and crashing back down. An inborn sense of anxiety and melancholy have accompanied me since the beginning, and have only recently been relegated to the ‘learning experience’ shelf. Likewise my incessantly muttering mind, which took many years of meditation and compassion to ease.

My existential crisis began when I was 11. I learnt what we have done to the earth, the animals, and each other; I learnt that as kind as I might be to everyone around me there would still be people who would take pleasure in being hurtful to me; I learnt that the world was full of injustice; and I learnt that ordinary people live like sheep, unwilling to look their reality or that of others in the eye. I had no God, no reason why, no beliefs. I had endless questions, and no answers.

I swore I would never become one of the multitudes of sleep-walkers, and though I had a brief period of my life where I actually thought I wanted a white picket fence, a baby and yearly holidays, it didn’t take long for my rebellious soul (highly indignantly) to voice its objections; and so I was turned out free once again, directionless but at least not trapped, trading security for freedom.

The burden of living without any answers began to take its toll during my university years; I suffered repeated bouts of depression, occasional thoughts of suicide, and developed a dismally distorted relationship with food. Despite this, I also had periods of resurfacing in which I would evolve enormously (and my dress size would shrink in direct proportion) and reaffirm my belief that I was somehow on the right path, no matter how sinuous it might be.

My original plan to become a psychotherapist faltered along with the end of my relationship three years ago when I was forced to reassess everything I had previously thought I wanted. I felt it wasn’t enough, I couldn’t reach enough people, there wasn’t any one branch that felt right for me. I didn’t know what the next step should be and I figured it made sense for me to stay where I was (even though I hated it) until I figured that out. So there I stayed, in my highly stressful HR job in Zürich until I went crazy. And I do mean crazy; fried brain, continuous panic attacks, hyperventilation and again, thoughts of suicide. Oh it was fun.

It’s a funny thing though, hitting rock bottom. Like a serious illness, once you get clear of its shackles it’s like the clouds crack open and rays from a divinely warm and comforting sun shine down right on you, and you’re just so damn grateful for everything. It sorts out your priorities like nothing else on this earth, and for that I thank even this most dismal episode of my life.

Over the years I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone repeatedly, and it is in large part due to this that I have become the (relatively) calm and un-anxious person I now am. I have moved almost every year of the last ten – having grown up in Belgium (with British and German parents) I chose to study in the UK and in Germany, then moved to Switzerland, Spain, Switzerland again and then back to Belgium (all of which, except Switzerland, I did alone). I’ve taken on many different jobs, put myself in all sorts of out-of-character situations and tried a multitude of different experiences.

It was these battles with my fevered ego which pushed me ever more towards Buddhism and meditation, which I first began experimenting with at University. More than anything else I have tried (and I’ve tried a lot of things in my quest for peace), it is meditation which has had the most beneficial impact on my personal evolution. It has taught me that I have a grounded center that I can always retreat to and ask for guidance from, that I am not my mind and can therefore choose how to use it, that in the stillness of meditation the heart finds the space to tell you what it needs, and that in that bottomless well of wisdom that we each carry around with us lies everything I will ever need.

Having completed my degree in Bach Flower Therapy (a vibrational medicine much like homeopathy for the emotions – truly less odd than it sounds;)) whilst I was in Switzerland, I decided to start working with it in a professional capacity once I was safely ensconced at home in Brussels again (post-melodramatic break-down) and founded Bach Essence Solutions. I (re)discovered how much I love working with people, how much I adore those humble little essences, and began to develop my own way of helping people. As much as I loved it, I knew it somehow wasn’t enough. I kept searching.

At the start of 2012 I made myself a promise: that this would be the year I finally broke through that mysterious barrier to figure out what I really wanted from life, would finally learn to live fully in accordance with my principles, finally get really fit, finally push through the resistance I come up against when trying to do those things that are most important to me.

For a few months I conducted little life experiments; one month without alcohol, one month of veganism, daily meditation. I went on my first weekend meditation retreat. I started taking singing lessons and sang in a small concert. I jammed with people I met online, and sang with a classic rock band. I stretched my boundaries, dodged around my comfort zone, challenged my self-limiting beliefs.

In March I started my blog A Quiet Revolution – I had been thinking about doing so for over a year. I began writing again, and remembered that I had always wanted to be a writer. I started writing my first book when I was 12 (it didn’t get very far), then I started writing songs (rarely finished), then at university, poetry. I have a somewhat tortured relationship with writing; I desperately love it but find it almost impossible. Haven’t figured that out yet. Despite the painful process of writing, when I do manage to express myself as I would like I get an incredible high, and the knowledge that I am manifesting creatively in this way is somehow immensely reassuring to me. Writing the blog has also reminded me that I am, before anything else, a philosopher – and miraculously, the void that was gaping is now filled; I finally know what I am.

The blog has connected me to a multitude of incredibly welcoming and inspiring people, has helped me to express myself when I was lost for words, and has, despite its unsteady progress, come to feel like a thing of its own. One of the wonderful people I encountered has become a partner in a project called Shyness Warrior, a site we started to discuss shyness, fear and living an authentic, self-actualized life.

Recently it feels as though everything is shifting; I find myself increasingly in a state of bliss where I am overwhelmed with humility and gratitude. I can feel myself opening again, to the magic of existence, to the insatiable longing within to explore what this life is about, what it can be, what I can do…I feel like I’m standing at the edge of Very Exciting Times, like maybe finally, the life I have always wanted to live is about to begin.

In a few short weeks I will be leaving to roam the highest places of earth in the mighty Himalaya; I have no plans for when I return. One thing is sure; I will keep writing, and trying to be of service. Perhaps, when it comes down to it, that’s all I really want.

“And kids, then I got a job, a fancy car that I couldn’t afford, took a mortgage, and settled down.”

Hi, I am Amit and I have always been afraid of saying the above words. I came very close this time around and this is the story about how it all happened.

I began my blog, Fishing Buddha, as a challenge to myself in the July of last year when I was living without a computer. And that was the sole goal of this blog when it began. I wanted to see how long I could blog for without a computer. However, slowly it turned into something else. It took shape of a tiny crack in the walls around an intensely private and shy person. Slowly the cracks expanded and turned into a gaping hole into my personal philosophy, life and previously hidden observations about the world. As I met more people, and began receiving a tiny trickle of “thank you for writing this” emails, the crack grew further and finally the walls came down.

Today, almost a year later, I am a different person. Fishing Buddha was the final coat of paint to this new house I was building to move into. The paint is still drying and we’re not done yet. However, looking back at myself, I see a totally different Amit: a guy who was so eager to peer into the darkness but had forgotten to put batteries in his flashlight.

In short, I was trying to normalize. I was trying so very hard to fit in. I was eager to be accepted and be just like them whoever these ‘them’ were. All the years of travel – moving to new cities and countries – had taken its toll on me. I had begun to crave familiarity: a constant reference point of sorts that would remain still while everything else moved around me at a dizzying pace. I was that little kid on the teacups who was trying too hard to not move along with the cups. I should have realized that the real fun is in letting go and just moving around in every which way the cups take you.

But before I tell you about my present and the future, I want to give you a little background into why I insist on making my life’s story not normal. You see I never had a normal life.

I was born on April 29th, 1986 in Mumbai, India. At the time, my mom was 20 years old and my dad 25. My mom had only attended school till 10th grade, as it was not “women-like” to study more than their brothers. Today my younger sister is planning her PhD studies while I only have a master’s degree and I couldn’t be more proud of her. But things were different in India back then. My mom’s family meant well. However, they wanted to have a “normal” daughter and not risk standing out in the society. She married my dad in 1985 and out I came next year – you know, it was normal to have a grandchild within a year. Again nothing wrong, but just the way society functioned back then.

On the other side, my dad had just recently gotten his first job at a company. His monthly salary was whopping 700 Rupees a month ($12.5 at current rate). But he was happy and excited to begin a new life. My dad had lost his mother when he wasn’t even a year old in a household accident.  His dad later committed suicide when he was a teenager and then his stepmother died too. He grew up in rural India and his childhood was tough from what he tells me – never complaining but just reminiscing. He, at sixteen, moved to the city of Pune and began his own barbershop. In India’s caste system, his caste occupation was barbering so, that was the “normal” and a necessary thing to do for survival. They cooked, studied and slept above in the shop’s loft. He went on to educate himself and his two half-brothers. He eventually went on to hold key leadership positions in many multi-national companies. His brothers went on to become a civil engineer and a businessman, respectively.

So, when he finally got married at 25, it was a positive inflection that had been long time coming. According to my mom, I spent the first few years of my life in “Chawls” and slept on a gunny-sack because we couldn’t afford a mattress. I do not remember much of it besides the small packets of raisins, which dad used to buy me before leaving for work everyday. That was my dad’s daily “latte” budget, so to speak.

But this is not a story of my or my family’s humble, impoverished beginnings. This is a story of rebelling against the normal expectations and standards. By 1999, we had a pretty privileged life and soon left for the shores of United Kingdom. Then came the sudden prosperity, the even more sudden loss of it, the long-distance relationship that eventually failed, the following serial-dating, the travels in Southeast Asia while living in Malaysia, arrival in the USA amid a foiled “liquid-bomb” terrorist plot in 2006, becoming a rocket-scientist by graduating as an Aerospace Engineer just because I was curious, getting my MBA and then, here we are today.

There were many things that happened in between – like my 12 different schools i.e. 12 shy, nervous first days at school and 12 sad, promising-to-never-lose-touch last days of school. But these are the main chapters and as you can see it is not a normal story. Although it all began in the pursuit of normalcy and fitting into the norms of the society, it has turned out to be a pretty whacky life so far.  And I couldn’t be more proud. So, when I picture myself telling my kids or grandkids the story of my life, I want it to be exciting and riveting from the day I was born till the moment they ended up on my lap listening to this story. It’s very simple- I just want to tell one fucking awesome story with my life.

So, the part you all might have been waiting for. Are you even still reading at this point? If you are, then you are awesome and I promise to make it worth your while. If you have fallen asleep, then I thank you because you have just inspired me to create an even more exciting story with my life.

As I am done with my studies in the US, I have two options. I could get a job, stick around for 5-6 years to get my Green Card, and then just fall into the routine. Or do something “less-crowded”. In short, begging and pleading for a job sponsorship in the US would be me trying really hard to live a normal, expected life. The other option is more fun – I’m moving to Chile!

Wait, what, you say? Why Chile? I really quite don’t know. I have been fascinated, okay I lie, obsessed with Chile for quite some time now. Besides a geeky rocket-scientist, I am also a climber. I haven’t climbed in years because of my back problem and because I spent the last six years in the flat Florida. The mountain peaks of Patagonia, therefore, are too much to resist.

My fascination with Chile began when I went on a blind date with a Chilean girl last year. We only went on one date, but I was mesmerized by her description of the country. Also, I learned that it’s not Chi-li, but Chee-lay. So, one thing led to another and I applied for Start-Up Chile* with a silly idea. I got rejected, however, that was a catalyst that started a chain reaction. The more I learned about the country (I’ve watched/read almost every movie, book and documentary out there about Chile), the more it attracted me. It has gotten to a point, where I am now convinced that S. America and especially Chile is my next destination in life.

Recently, I was accepted as an English teaching volunteer for the English Opens Doors program, which is organized by the Chilean Ministry of Education. I will be teaching English until end of November. What after that? I don’t know yet but I am excited to find out! I am working on applying for Start-Up Chile again in 2013 with a friend.

Moving to Chile and putting everything on the line gives me a chance to practice what I have talked about on Fishing Buddha for a year. It gives me the sense of endless possibilities. If I had decided to go back home instead, then I knew exactly what I was going back to. Flying off to Chile, on the other hand, is a mystery. It is an exhilarating feeling of an adventure. And it is way better than choosing unhappiness over uncertainty.

I have already made many friends in Chile – from CEOs to rock-climbers. I cannot wait to meet these new characters in my life’s story in person. I cannot wait to learn more, experience more, make more mistakes and discover more about myself. These following months will help me forge a new skin. I will be chipping away at the layers of my comfort-zone every single day and I am sure, eventually, will break out of it again.

So what happens to Fishing Buddha now? In the long run, the vision for Fishing Buddha is a hub of sorts. From Fishing Buddha, I plan to sprout new projects. I have been working on two – OneCentence: encourage reading; and NomNomad: food and my goal of learning to cook in as many different languages as possible. I will keep you updated when I am ready to bring these new branches of the Fishing Buddha tree online.

So that’s my story (so far). There is much more to come and much more to be shared. Finally, thanks, Caroline for giving me this opportunity. This is the first time I have publicly talked about my Chilean plans. Some of my friends don’t even know yet, but they will now. Consider this as my declaration to the world.

Also, I cannot thank enough to the two people who made it to the end of this post Love you all and thanks for reading.

* Start-Up Chile is a program of the Chilean Government to attract world-class early stage entrepreneurs to start their businesses in Chile.

Who is Kit exactly?

That looks like an easy question, but it isn’t! Rather than giving a bunch of labels, I’ll say what I love: turning a corner and seeing that life is wider than I had thought. Fresh baked bread in the morning. Connection with close friends. Quiet. Photography. Teaching an English class where the students are engaged.

When is your birthday? Phew. That’s a bit easier. 3rd June 1984.

Where do you currently live?

In a rented apartment down a small street, right in the heart of Bangkok. I’m happy to be a in small community of mainly muslims, who are the most friendly and welcoming people I’ve ever met in Bangkok.

What makes Bangkok such a special place for you?

The things many people adore about Bangkok (shopping, night-life) leave me feeling indifferent. I’m here for practical reasons really: my partner is from here, and the best job opportunities for teaching English.

Thailand, on the other hand, I am a huge fan of. I love the weather, food, and people. Mainly the people. The culture here is far more accepting of weakness and mistakes than we find in the West. And I get the sense that people aren’t fighting so much just to be alive. There are downsides to this, but all the same, I am very happy here.

What do you do for a living?

All my money comes from teaching English. I have never made a penny online, but view it instead as a chance to meet like-minded people (I don’t know many locally, you see) and share great ideas to help us live more meaningfully and lovingly.

Tell us a bit more about you…we want to know everything about your background, passions + dreams!

People are free to live as they choose. For the most part, I think we choose a life of limitation. Our fears are like crutches and we are loathe to kick them off. My passion then is to dig deep into the human experience and find what we need to set ourselves free. That of course is different things to different people.

For me, I’m a kind of “spiritual but not religious” person (having once been deeply religious). I love reading on philosophy, psychology, and how Eastern spirituality can blend with Western. Reiki completely changed my life; I practice mindfulness meditation, and I am interested in a kind of religionless Christianity.

What is the biggest struggle you encountered to be here where you are today?

This was when I sat down to pray to God one time and I suddenly felt he had gone away.

How did you overcome it?

It almost overcame me. I became an atheist and dissociated myself from all my Christian friends and family (which was almost everyone I was close to). I tried all sorts of naughty things, got into all sorts of subversive ideas, and had a hell of a lot of fun in my new-found freedom. But it took its toll, and I ended up very sick.

The only way I stayed sane was to be honest. People wanted me to reject what I was becoming, but I could not. Counselling helped. I wrote passionately in a journal, waiting out the four months of sickness until I was healthy enough to fly to India. From there I back-packed solo around Asia and New Zealand, and slowly found my feet. The healing has, honestly, taken years.

There is a beautiful sentence on your site that says, “We seek to be free from religion, but full of soul”, can you tell us more about the message behind it?

Religion is a response that humans make to the realisation that there is a powerful love that lies within us, and even all around us. Sometimes religion helps us with that; often it hinders. When religion hardens, it becomes a kind of structure that makes it hard to move, to breathe, freely. We end up serving these structures of belief and piousness.

The path of the soul is towards openness and love. We can walk that way inside religion, but we can also go outside it. Both ways can be good.

What are the values you strive for in life?

There’s just one I consciously attend to: honesty. Honesty will penetrate deep into your being and allow the best qualities to come forth naturally, without effort.

Your favourite quote?

There is no way to peace; peace is the way. AJ Muste

What are your hopes and wishes for the future?

I try to keep things real and in the present. But if the path I’m walking along is a forest trail, all I want is to go deeper.

A huge thank you to Kit for sharing his beautiful story !

I had to run, and I had to do it fast. I had to try catching those wild adventures I was so often thinking about. And maybe I never will but running is all I’ve got.

Today, I feel like I’ve run a thousand miles, crossed the Pacific Ocean and jumped from a huge cliff. Today is the day I’m launching the shoe brand I’ve spent the past year working on with my mum. Today is the day Caroline Macaron becomes real.

From this night in December where my mum and I had a Skype conversation about her difficulties to find elegant shoes for her feet to launching a collection of shoes for women concerned by bunions, it feels like a century has passed by. We’ve had our ups and downs, our good and bad days, our moments of joy and frustration, some light of hope and some vision of darkness, we’ve been riding the rollercoaster of trying to make our dream come true.

I don’t know what the future holds for me but no matter what happens, I will always be proud of myself for even trying. Because I can’t imagine living a life with regrets, I’m taking the risk of falling.

Though deep down, I’m secretly hoping that women will fall in love with Caroline Macaron…as much as I did the first time I imagined it. Because a dream is sweeter when shared, I’m hoping many people get to live that dream with my mum and I.

If you guys want to help me gather people by spreading the word, I would be eternally grateful.

Because without all of you and this crazy community, I wouldn’t be here where I’m today, I want to thank you for what you brought to my life, taking that first leap of faith one year ago is the best gift I’ve ever received.

A huge merci from the bottom of my  heart.

I am a story collector. Stories to me are valuable assets, memories of places and people visited. The first travel stories I collected are from Japan. I lived in Japan for about 3 months after which me and my current wife traveled the country from North to South. I still believe this stay in Japan someway shaped me for who I am today.

I am a storyteller. Stories collected while traveling with my family I share with readers around the digital campfire. Some call it a travel blog.

But let’s first take a step back. I am honored to be featured here on The Story of Us, big thanks to Caroline! She asked me to share my story, being  a Dutch family of four that has created a habit out of traveling the world. We are not a nomadic family, we don’t travel continuously. We have a secure home base from which we fly away to encounter people, places and cultures that we can learn from. As parents we want our children to become global citizens and by traveling this way we trust to provide our children roots and wings.

Kids in Morocco

From our home base Holland it’s only a 3 hour flight to a completely different world: Morocco. In 2008, when our youngest son just turned 4, we decided it was THE moment to start traveling again. At the age of 4 kids start to understand and remember things more clearly. My son still vividly remembers that camel ride on the beach of Essaouira, just look at the picture!

Close to home, yet so different. In Morocco our kids learned about a totally different culture, religion, modes of transport, poverty, etc. Their travel wings started to grow….

Travel stories

In order to explain why we spend much of our budget (and time) on traveling I want to share a quote by a famous Persian poet, Rumi:

“Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth.”

You have to work on your own story: create your own amazing adventures. I believe that’s the message here. My myth is the way I write down my stories. They can be sentimental, inspirational, practical and sometimes even poetic.

When I travel I long to find the hidden story behind people I meet or places I visit. I call that slow travel: don’t rush by jumping in and out a particular place (like ticking boxes of must-see places), but consciously spend some more time and observe. My motto is: let Serendipity surprise you!

“What is the value of travel and these travel stories anyway?” “Why spend so much money on traveling?” – I get these questions a lot. Well, the great thing is that travel experiences (and stories) are yours and yours alone. Your neighbor can think his car is bigger than yours which might make him believe he is more important (duh..), but travel experiences are a league of their own. They carry a lot of personal emotion and therefore cannot be compared to others. There are no winners and no losers. Experiences are people’s most valuable asset. That neighbors car can break down, your travel experiences are here to stay.

Fellowship

In the fellowship of travel story tellers the world is our playground and classroom at the same time. Every new experience is different, even when you travel to the same place twice. The world keeps turning and people keep moving, no place stays the same.

For our children the world is also a teacher. I strongly believe our kids would learn more from one year of traveling than from one year in the same classroom!

Our favorite spots

Our favorite spots…hmm. Ok, let’s talk city versus nature to start with. Some don’t like megacities like Bangkok or New York City, but we love it as these places offer the best insights into how people act and behave when they live and work together. In megacities serendipity lies just around the corner, waiting to be discovered. We travel the subway like crazy in these kinds of cities. I believe they are the veins of a city, almost a parallel world.

Surreal places

We love Asia! The food, the culture, the friendliness of people draws us year after year. We have already traveled to Japan, Vietnam, India, Nepal, Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. But we keep on coming back. India is a surreal place, a country you will love and hate because of the extremities in way of living, climate and transportation. Some will never return after one visit. We will return this year after our first trip back in 1998.

Manhattan by night as viewed from the top of the Empire State Building is magic, almost surreal. Our kids loved NYC and so did we! Lying on the grass of Central Park during just a couple of hours before our flight back home….we would have given much to be able to stay longer. Who is going to invite us??

Europe is a gift for travelers: all countries are easily accessible and not too far away from each other. Rome, Budapest, Barcelona, Paris and Amsterdam: all so different! We still have lots of great cities to show our kids, this month we will be in Berlin.

South America

We have visited Peru, Brazil and Cuba (without our kids by the way). In this part of the world there are places I still long to visit as a family: Bolivia, Colombia and Belize. I really hope to share stories of these places within the next 3-4 years!

Crush those travel fears

I hope the travel stories of our family offers you and many others inspiration to start traveling. Follow my blog where we will share our upcoming adventures in Asia. If you like to read about travel beyond factual guidebooks, my blog is for you. But for now, enough with the self-promotion: here’s to Travel!!

Emiel van den Boomen

http://www.actoftraveling.com

@vandenboomen

Facebook: Act of Traveling

Who is Tanja exactly? An existentialist, anarchist, observant, hence hypersensitive clown.

When is your birthday? July 9th

Where do you currently live?

I live in Marseille, in the South of France. Before I moved here I hadn’t even heard of the place, much less thought about it.  Marseille had the kind of reputation you don’t want to take home to your mother.

Not exactly a city on top of a tourist’s wish list. Rather, it was the type of place one passed through quickly (preferably without using a public toilet) and moved on.

But times have changed. Marseille’s re-generation is well under way. She’s not your traditional Provençal city. She’s got more of a Latin-Mediterranean feel. Year-round great weather and low prices mean the rest of the world is beginning to catch on.

For now, here is perfect. In a year or so we plan to live on a sailboat. Living on a boat is about as free and simple as it gets.

How did you land in France in the first place?

I’d been to France a couple of times before but it never really crossed my mind to live here. No particular reason. I suppose it didn’t seem feasible. And I guess for most people, France gives the impression of being a romantic country one visits briefly and dreams about ever after. Basically I’m here because I followed my heart. At the time (around 4 years ago) my heart was following a handsome Frenchman called Fabrice. I go where my heart goes

You travelled and lived in many countries, can you tell us more about these experiences?

Born in Serbia I spent my early life in Austria before immigrating to Australia. In Oz I grew up in Perth (Western Australia) and moved to Melbourne to study acting. I also hung out in Sydney for a year. When I was 22 I took off overseas looking ‘for a home’.  I suppose I’ve been looking ever since. I lived in Japan (Tokyo) for a year. A Greek Island called Paros. London for a brief stint (too cold). I travelled to Turkey, sailed down the Nile in Egypt, Israel, Tunisia, Malaysia, Bali and the Philippines. I backpacked all over Europe (excepting the Nordic countries…again, too cold). I’ve also lived in the Balkans (albeit sporadically).

But I’ve only scratched the surface. I’d love to experience India, Sri Lanka, Brazil, to name a few. Just to clarify, I’m not really into ‘travelling’, as such. My version of travel involves going to a new place and staying there for as long as possible. At least long enough to get grounded. Long enough to get to know the people, the culture, learn to speak the language (if not all then at least some of it) and ‘nest’ for a while.

We are dying to know everything about your background, passions + dreams!

Everything? C’est pas possible !!!

But I hope parts of me are right here. Parts are in my blog (some parts may have fallen through the cracks but that’s ok too:)

I did, however find the following manifesto, which resonated on so many levels and somehow explains ‘me’ more eloquently than I ever could…

“Death to the Supermarkets

Bake Bread

Play the Ukulele

Open the Village Hall

Action is Futile

Quit Moaning

Make Music

Stop Consuming

Start Producing

Back to the Land

Smash Usury

Embrace Beauty

Embrace Poverty

Hail the Chisel

Ignore the State

Reform is Futile

Anarchy in the UK

Hail the Spade

Hail the Horse

Hail the Quill

Love thy Neighbour

Be Creative

Free your Spirit

Dig the Earth

Make Compost

Life is Absurd

We are Free

Be Merry ”

(From ‘How to be Free’ by Tom Hodgkinson)

As you said it pretty well yourself, you wear many hats…what are they and what do they mean to you?

Self-definition has never sat easily with me. I’ve never been comfortable with the question “What do you do” for example. That question is a kind of lame way for people to sum each other up in an instant. My ‘many hats’ represent the things I’ve done in my life, the skills I’ve acquired along the way…but the qualifications, the labels don’t define who I am. If anything they repress and hinder growth. (Truth be told, I also (literally) wear hats and beanies almost ever day. Have done for the past 20 years. Feel naked without them).

What is the biggest struggle you encountered to be here where you are today?

I used to be somewhat wild-at-heart. A capricious party girl. Naturally, as an actor I blamed it on the Entertainment Industry, which is full of eccentric, insecure types. Most of them mad, whimsical, great fun. I also blamed it on my Serbian blood.

Back then I had a pretty long list of needs, but the list is getting shorter. I guess when things and circumstances started to align themselves I found I no longer needed anything that’s not real, authentic and/or inspiring.

When you stop leaning on your vices, when all you’ve ever known gets peeled back like the skin of an onion, it’s difficult to know who you really are.  But if you can stick it out, in time, the clarity becomes a new high.  A high I would like to continue to explore because I like it. Clarity and consciousness strip away the artifice we all build around us so expertly we don’t even realize we’re doing it. So I guess I’ve spent most of my life in an unconscious state.

How did you overcome it?

I had my heart broken. My romantic heart, as well as my creative heart.

My ex and I ended our 9-year relationship. I got sick (hyperthyroidism & auto-immune graves disease). The doctors told me they wanted to pump me full of radioactive iodine, cut out my thyroid and put me on medication for the rest of my life. All my instincts screamed NO! So that was a turning point right there.

I then started reading and learning about alternative methods of healing. I became interested in the healing arts and all things natural and eventually cured myself using herbal medicine.

Heartbreak and illness can be a powerful healing tool

I then sold my house, car, stuff, + bought a one-way ticket to nowhere in particular. After 7 months of drifting around, I met Fabrice in Sydney. He, off course was a major catalyst in my healing journey – but romantic love alone won’t do it all for you. You still need to do the deep work. You need to dig up your residue. I did that via reading, writing, travelling, yoga, walking & creating. But for a longest time it felt like one-step forward, two steps back, until one day something shifted. And I think it was the combination of all the positive things I was integrating into my life mixed with the extreme isolation I was feeling living in a new country and not speaking the language etc. Eventually my isolation became a sort of blissful solitude. I now realize I needed it in order to get to know the real me.

Good thing is, at the end of the day, we are not what we think we are. The persona is a mask and I’m much more interested in who or what’s behind it.  So in a way, my life’s been a process of stripping back the false construction of self.

Now I see life as a creative process and within the creative process there’s a lot of waiting. For what? Waiting for acceptance of what is.  One needs to listen and to be able to hear what’s going on inside. It took me a long time to learn to listen – and to find my voice. Evidently, I’m a late bloomer and a slow learner

So in trying to overcome the challenges I had to do some major unfolding – unfolding of the self and my surroundings to see what lies beneath. It’s a work in progress. Unfinished and raw.

What are your plans for:

Tomorrow?

I have no expectations and no major ambition apart from a loose plan for my day ahead.

Next month?

- A short trip to Paris to meet up with friends I haven’t seen in years.

- I’m also ready to start writing again. My second book will be a type of resource for people. All things natural, alternative healing methods and practices from all around the globe. Everything I have learnt in the past 10 years. My intention is not to tell people what to do but to show them they have options.

This year?

- To finish writing my second book.

- To move more fully into my yoga practice

- Although it’s not a priority right now, I’m thinking of eventually getting back to acting, though I’m not sure my French is up to scratch, but we’ll see. Becoming a cog in the soul-less entertainment industry machine doesn’t turn me on any more. I’m interested in independent projects and collaborating with like-minded souls.

Your favourite quote?

“Occasionally one needs to throw some shit on a garden, before something beautiful can grow” – (my mum)

What are your hopes and wishes for the future?

To live in gratitude. In love. To stay in the present. To continue on this journey of healing.  To continue to nurture my life with quality ingredients. Good books. Good food. Good friends. Beauty.

My hopes and wishes are not only for me and the people I love but for the entire planet. I feel we’re at a major turning point right now. The state of the world is at a crucial stage. I don’t think it’s all doom and gloom. But I do feel we’ll be experiencing, moving through more negative stuff and darkness before we see the light. We’ll need to go backwards before we can go forwards. We need to simplify. We need to stop buying useless crap. We need to stop paying off massive mortgages for the rest of our lives.

In the Balkans for example, you can buy a gorgeous house and stacks of land for as little as $20 000.  If you can’t afford to live in your country move somewhere cheaper. Break the shackles. Take back your freedom. Take back your life.  It’s easier than people realize.

Fancy adding anything?

Nature heals all. You only need to look at the majesty of a tree to know it. In the past I couldn’t give a toss about anything green.  Never mind a bird, flower, the sun or the sea.  I never appreciated the beauty of it all until I realized that I’m a part of it and it is a part of me trying to lead me in the right direction.  Trying to show me its secrets, which I am here to experience.  It is our purpose to learn and to remain fully conscious in order to fulfil what we are here to do. I know I will only be here for a short time and I want to experience this time to the fullest instead of living it through a kind of semi-conscious fog.

Thanks for reading.

Thanks for listening.

And thank YOU Caroline, for having me on your gorgeous blog! (aww Merci Tanja, so sweet of you!)

Love and Light Refreshments

Tanja

So when I read an article in the local paper about this young man launching a new social network and co-working space in my city Tours, I had to meet with him.

Julien is a passionate and driven twenty-something guy who will only work on things that matter, no compromise allowed. He will move mountains if he has to, become a workaholic if he needs to, knock on every door if it’s the only choice left and stand in front of a crowd packed with financial sharks if he believes in his ideas, which he does. Being able to defend and fight for ideas no matter what isn’t something everyone is capable of; it requires courage, faith and the ability to move forward despite the critics and suspicions. I respect him a lot for that.

From his dream of becoming a professional tennis player to studying business in Tours + Mexico, Julien has been living on the last wagon of a crazy rollercoaster (everybody knows the last wagon is the fastest and most dangerous one). Jumping from one project to another, he is in all the battles. If he isn’t working hard on his soon-to-be-launched social network BuzzleMe (a mix of buzz + puzzle), he is trying to raise funds to open the very first co-working space, also called “cantine numérique”, in Tours.

Because I know you’re probably dying to know what BuzzleMe is all about and you’re wondering why launching another social network while there is so many already, I will satisfy your curiosity right now. The real twist to BuzzleMe is that companies looking to hire will have the opportunity to see and watch candidates answer their questions.  In other words, companies will send some written questions to candidates and then, they will answer those in a limited time using their webcam. Makes sense?

Personally, I believe this innovative concept can allow companies to get to know more their candidates, who might become their future employees, on a more human level. I’ve never been a big fan of resumes and cover letters as we tend to all say the same bullshit, writing down what companies want to read and delivering that same old commercial speech that everyone is preaching. On paper, we just are clones that school and society created. In real, we are all unique, each of us in his own way. It was about time someone did something about it, so keep an eye open for BuzzleMe, it might just be the tool you’ve been waiting for to make your voice count.

Already hooked to the BuzzleMe concept? Want to stalk the guy behind the idea? Your prayers have been heard my friends, connect with Julien on Twitter now!